1000 Ways to Die

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1000 Ways to Die
Watch it before you DIE!! (no pun intended)
Genre: Horror Anthology Black Comedy Docufiction Running Time: 21 Minutes Country: United States Release Date: May 14, 2008 – July 15, 2012 Network(s): Spike Comedy Central Created by: Tom McMahon H.A. Arnarson Geoff Miller Starring: Thom Beers (pilot, U.S. broadcast) Ron Perlman (seasons 1–6 U.S. broadcast) Joe Irwin (season 6, U.S. broadcast) Seasons: 6 Episodes: 74 Next show: 1000 Ways to Lie

1000 Ways To Die is an American documentary show with themes involving black humor and violence airing on Spike (currently Paramount Network) and Comedy Central from May 14, 2008, to July 15, 2012. The show focuses on (realistic or unrealistic) deaths with documentaries and experts who experimented with the science of death.

Qualities that DIE

1. Misleading Title: Despite the show's title, there are only 497 deaths in this show.
   • It also includes the death number "412", which is annoying and it would have made sense to have a different number.
2. Most of the deaths can be unrealistic and they would not make sense to do so in real life, except for some, like "Premature Endings" (which is accurate since the death of an old man references people who passed out from cancer or naturally in real life) and "Miss-ur Head" (which is also accurate since death can be sometimes get tortured by a guillotine).
3. Speaking of which, the deaths can be gruesome and disgusting to watch, even on those with blood visible in many deaths.
4. For some reason, Season 3 has plenty of episodes compared to other seasons, though it got split into Seasons 4 and 5 to balance up the episode counting and make things fair.
5. Most of the characters appearing in many segments are unlikable and they have many petty reasons:
   • Stealing (White Wetting, Turtle Waxed, etc.)
   • Cheating (Texas Fold 'Em)
   • Bullying (Hard Balled)
   • Looking at other people's body parts, especially women (Blood Bath & Beyond, Him-Paled)
   • Getting mad even during their duties (Mad Max, Bucky Boned, Blown Job (118), Die-brator, Deep Fried)
   • Getting drunk, especially during parties (Succu Offed, Drunk Die-er, Cast Offed, Gone Green, [Jaw Boned, Vats All Folks, Hillary Snuffed, No Fun-gus, Recep-Shunned, etc.)
   • Having sex with a guy or a girl (Back Stabbed, Bed Buggered)
   • Fighting with your friend or rival (Mudder Sucked, Sudden Death, Tunnel Vision, Tapped Out, etc.)
   • Breaking up from stupid acts (Corset Killed Him, Kill Bill & Billie)
   • Making stupid acts just to let innocent people or victims get killed (Super Zero, Jersey Gore, Par-Gore, Gone Fission, Death of Sum Young Guy, Boned Chicken Boned, Lawn of the Dead, etc.)
   • Playing dares, especially innocent people ([Weenie Roast)
   • Causing gross-out humor (Vom-Ate-Dead, Mary-Nated, Work of Fart, Bush Whacked, Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow, Potty Mouth, S**t Canned, etc.)
   • Even causing world domination (Bot-ily Harmed, Sun Burnt, etc.)
     • Sure, they are unlikable and they get comeuppance at the end, but the thing is that their deaths are unrealistic and disturbing to watch, as well as their punishments are too harsh for a show like this.
     • Celebrities who appear in some segments can feel sorry for their villainous acts (E.g.: Steve Zaragoza, the late Aye Jaye, Jason Nash, Hilary Duff, Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Michael Naishtut & Courtney Rice).
     • Innocent people who die in some segments can also feel sorry for them. (Ichiboned, Weenie Roast, etc.)
6. It is somehow predictable who's gonna die if not how. Especially when the victim is alone.
   • Gets worse when we see the episode's preview.
7. The deaths can make Happy Tree Friends, South Park, Superjail, and Final Destination movies look like saints because of how they look in this show.
8. The CGI human in the commentary section to understand what death is can be disturbing and painful to watch, even though some of them are logical.
9. The titles in many segments can be somewhat cringeworthy and they can be rejected those from Mario Party or WarioWare.
10. There are somehow anachronisms in this show, like having iPhone in 2003, vehicles manufactured after the segment's date (2006-2010 Pontiac Solstice in 2003).
11. It spawned a terrible spin-off "1000 Ways to Lie". That show was more boring than this show and short-lived with only 1 season.
12. Overall, this show feels like a shock humor and a show from Adult Swim rather than a legit Spike show. Even Blue Mountain State, which came out 2 years later, has some humor and black comedy to it, and besides, it is more enjoyable than this.

Good Qualities

1. To be fair, this show has a concept of how people die from injuries or illnesses with commentaries appearing after the death, despite the poor execution.
2. This show can be quite educational on how to avoid death. Like don't take a bath with alcohol (Rubbed Out), what kind of plant that you shouldn't eat (Bush Whacked, No Fun-gus), don't laugh for straight 36 hours (Funny Boned), etc.
3. Most of the narrators did a good job voicing them, especially Ron Perlman.
4. Ron Perlman's puns are good at the end of most of the show's segments.
5. Some of the deaths can be entertaining to watch, even if they are disturbing and gross.
   • Most of the bad people who appear in many segments at least get their comeuppance, despite being unrealistic.
6. The art style for both pilot episodes and the whole show is decent.
7. Amazing acting and makeup. (Eg: Dead Eye, Re-Tired, Crack Piped Bull-heavia, etc.)
8. The soundtracks sound decent.
9. Nice special effects, not just blood and vomit. (Shining port-a-potty in Fecal Attraction, the sun ray on My Big Fat Greek Death, etc.).
10. There are some funny moments. Take a look on that category.

Trivia

• The show only contained 497 deaths in total, despite the show's title, at the end of its run.
• The show spawned a special episode called, The Deathies, which contained segments returning here to showcase the best, dumbest, or worst [insert name here] death.
• It popularized the YouTube trend of "X Ways To Die" in series of video games such as Grand Theft Auto, Minecraft (Jake Eye's 50 Ways To Die in Minecraft) or even Super Mario Bros.
• Despite they acted dead or were interviewed, some actors/actresses who were on this show passed away after the show ended (Diane Chambers from Injecti-cide in 2015, Joseph Brandon from Die-Agra in 2019 and the famous guest of this show, Franklin Ruehl in 2015.).

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