"Guy sitting next to me leaned over and told me this was the best movie he has ever seen. Say a prayer for him tonight."
— Sophie Holsinger on Letterboxd
Argylle
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 On second thought, maybe leave the cat in the bag.
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"whoever gave henry cavill that haircut needs to be jailed"
— tyler on Letterboxd
"This is a pretty accurate depiction for any fan fiction writer. *cries in corner* "
— Cringe on Letterboxd
"Getting twistlash every 10 minutes is tight!"
— Pitch Meeting
Argylle is a 2024 spy action comedy film directed and produced by Matthew Vaughn, and written by Jason Fuchs. The film features an ensemble cast that includes Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Henry Cavill, Sofia Boutella, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, John Cena, and Samuel L. Jackson. Despite its original concept and extremely talented cast, it can't save the movie from its negative reception.
Plot
Ellie Conway excelled when it came to writing spy novels, but failed when it came to any writer's nightmare, writer's block. On a train trip to meet with her parents, she runs into a mysterious man who's revealed to be a secret spy and mirrors his actions according to events in her novel. Together, they must travel across the world while uncovering secrets about Argylle.
Not Magnifique Qualities
- Despite the director's claims of its connection to the Kingsman films, Argylle barely has any connection to said films aside from a post-credit scene.
- Henry Cavill's portrayal of Argylle, though given ample screen time, plays a supporting role rather than the main protagonist, despite the promotional materials suggesting otherwise.
- Adding onto that, John Cena's character, Wyatt, gets even less screen time.
- And the worst part, is Ariana Debose's character, Keira, only appears a small handful of times viewers will forget that she existed.
- Plot twists range from easily predictable to outright confusing.
- Perhaps the biggest confusing plot twist is when it's revealed that Ellie Conway is Argylle (deriding from her real name Rachel Kylle, as in R. Kylle). She was a spy captured and brainwashed by the villainous organization the Division into believing she was an ice skater turned author of spy novels and that events of her spy past were being written as novels. It only raises the question of why the Division chose to kidnap her and brainwash her into believing that rather than brainwashing her to betray the good organization.
- Since Aiden and Alfie the Cat are meant to be based on Wyatt and Alfie Solomon respectively, it also begs who Keira is based on. Turns out, she's based on a random fan who sent Ellie a suggestion to revive one of her characters. Also, why didn't Keira help out Aiden and Ellie until the very last minute?
- Ruth, Ellie's mother, actually real name Margaret Vogler tries to brainwash Ellie with a music box at the climax. Why didn't she do this earlier?
- The pacing is all over the place, with so many illogical moments and as mentioned earlier, twist after twist.
- Somehow, Ellie can ice skate across an oily surface, despite oily surfaces not being useful for ice skating.
- Ellie can shoot people in the heart yet the shot won't be fatal if she aims at a very certain section.
- Despite attempts to make Ellie and Argylle attractive, the makeup leaves less to be impressed. They look more like parodies of James Bond than anything.
- Flat and generic cinematography.
- Poor CGI in the action scenes, while not as awful as The Flash, it certainly felt more like it belongs on a streaming service than anything. Heck, it was originally supposed to be released on Apple TV+ before Universal released it in theaters.
- The humor keeps falling flat to the point where you question if the film was even meant to be a comedy to begin with.
- Adding onto the twists, it turns out that a real Argylle does exist in the ending which only questions if there were two Argylles or if Ellie Conway wasn't R. Kylle. In any sense, this twist flat-out ruins everything in this movie due to its nonsense.
Magnifique Qualities
- The performances are good, but they can't save the confusing script.
- The action scenes are good. Despite its nonsense, the ice skating across the oil from Ellie is still fun to watch. Likewise, the shootout inside colored smoke clouds from grenades while romantic music plays is also great as well.
- Alfie is at least a cute cat.
Reception
On the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, 33% of 248 critics' reviews are positive, with an average rating of 4.9/10. The website's consensus reads: "Argylle gets some mileage out of its silly, energetic spin on the spy thriller, but ultimately wears out its welcome with a convoluted plot and overlong runtime." Metacritic, which uses a weighted average, assigned the film a score of 36 out of 100, based on 56 critics, indicating "generally unfavorable" reviews.
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