Ballz 3D
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| Ballz 3D | ||||||||||
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 To play this game, you gotta have Ballz.
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Ballz 3D (sometimes incorrectly 3D Ballz) is a fighting game released in 1994 for the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive, Super Nintendo and 3DO (where it was known as Ballz: The Director's Cut). It was published by Accolade.
Why It Doesn't Have Ballz
- Awkward and unresponsive controls, the jump gives the feeling of being useless. Our character looks like a frog, jumping a bit without knowing where he is going, something that makes us quite vulnerable to our opponent's attacks.
- Constant slowdown, especially in the SNES version.
- Unfair AI during the fights.
- The music and sounds are extremely weird and cheesy, a prime example of this is the infamous theme song on the SNES that contains erotic sounds of women moaning, a man saying boy, and hearing the same man grunting as well.
- Unlike the Genesis and 3DO version, whenever you fight or play as a female or a male character in the SNES version, you will always hear the same sounds of moaning and grunting that are also used in the game's theme song (for the most part).
- Despite the 3DO soundtrack not having any erotic sounds at all like the SNES, it still sounds weird and the yells the characters make sound too cartoonish to the point of being irritating.
- The idea of being able to play as a clown and hearing clownish sounds is annoying, especially when the clown makes gurgling sounds as well.
- Despite the large roster, the characters actually all look the same due to all of them being composed of colored balls.
- The fight against Guggler the ostrich, the first boss of five bosses in the game, is cheap. She can restore her health by sticking her head in the ground, and she is usually as far away from you because she has a throw attack, and there is no action for rushing forward that you can take to reach her quickly. Also, of course, her attacks have to overpower yours if you do an attack while she does one.
- Dull backgrounds with billboards that constantly display annoying messages commenting on the gameplay.
Redeeming Qualities
- This game is so stupid, it's laughable, for example, although there are many moans, depending on your point of view, they can be unintentionally hilarious to have a good laugh.
- The pseudo-3D graphics look very nice and passable, especially in the 3DO and Sega Genesis versions, where the player can rotate the camera freely.
- The developers reused this graphic technology for their much more successful series of virtual pet games, Petz.
- While the title music is off-putting, the battle music is actually decent and nicely captures the energetic nature the game was going for.
- In the 3DO version, the opening soundtrack does not start the moans despite it still having weirdly inappropriate lines.
- In the Genesis version, while the soundtrack is somewhat mediocre and the sounds are still weird/stupid sounding, there are little to no erotic sounds whatsoever and the theme song sounds goofy in a passable manner.
Reception
The game received mixed reviews from critics ranking from 4/10 to 8/10, and negative reception from players. It is now considered the second worst game ever made by Accolade, after Bubsy 3D, and one of the worst fighting games of all time.
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Categories:
- Bad games
- Bad media
- Fighting games
- Funny games
- Super Nintendo Entertainment System games
- Sega Genesis games
- 3DO Interactive Multiplayer games
- Games reviewed by Caddicarus
- 1990s games
- Games mentioned in AVGN Episode 97: How The Nerd Stole Christmas
- Featured on Tats' "Top 100 Worst Games"
- Games made in the United States