Carmageddon 64
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 This port should be crushed by a speeding car.
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"When it comes to quality control, this game is on par with Superman 64. Well, at least the other racers move, unlike Big Rigs, but when that's the best thing you could say about the game, is that it's slightly better than Big Rigs, well, then, you know you're playing a twelve-car pileup of flaming fucking bullshit!"
— The Angry Video Game Nerd
Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now is a 1998 vehicular combat racing game released for Microsoft Windows, Mac OS, PlayStation, Nintendo 64, and Game Boy Color. It was developed by Stainless Games and published by Sales Curve Interactive in Europe and Interplay Entertainment in North America.
The article applies to the Nintendo 64 version (known as Carmageddon 64) developed by Software Creations.
Why Max Damage Should Run This Port Over
- Terrible controls, frame rate and camera angles. Your car would swerve all over the place while steering. As there is no drifting mechanic and even how hard you steer it is impossible to take tight turns on most tracks without slowing down and spastically turning. In addition about the camera, it is uncontrollable and it can snap back to the back of your car when you stop.
- While the car handling in the PC version and in the previous game wasn't great, it's worsened here, as trying to hit any opponent and zombie is a chore, since no matter what car you use, it often loses control and flies to the nearest wall.
- Cheap and completely useless opponent AI. The zombies just wander about randomly while the opponent cars will, at best, ram you once or twice. The AI cars are so moronic that in one of the levels, Beaver County Quarry, they all always fall into a pit and no one manages to leave.
- One of Carmageddon's most staple mechanics, wasting your opponents' cars, is hard to do because your car takes insane damage, even if you ram your opponents without them being anywhere near the speed to do any back. The weapon powerups are also very hard to find and even if you did find them, it still requires a bit of effort to waste opponents with them.
- Most maps are huge and labyrinthine with one path through the checkpoints and zero directions on where to go. There is no set path to reach checkpoints which is very confusing and can result in excessive backtracking.
- Each successive set of races adds one lap that must be completed. By the game's halfway point you have to extensively seek out ways to extend your time limit as a single race easily takes 20 minutes or longer!.
- Instead of humans like in the PC and PlayStation version, the N64 version replaces them with zombies or even dinosaurs!! This is a problem because this game is rated M for Mature, which is an age rating given to games that have mature themes, which it does in the form of heavy violence. This means that they don't need to censor the game because minors couldn't buy the game without their parent's consent, if at all.
- Unlike in the computer version or even the PlayStation port, there's barely any licenced music in the game, and whatever music it uses is a forgettable loop.
- There is a glitch where you can fall into the water and can't recover back onto the track, and if you do recover you appear just next to the water, so you would most likely drive into the water again.
- Very small text-only cutscenes which could cause an eye strain.
- Compared to the PC version, this port has downgraded and awful graphics and low quality textures. The textures are incredibly blurry and the 3D models of the characters look horrifying.
- Almost non-existent physics. For example, your car can drive up walls and even drive while upside down.
- Although there is "Carmageddon" and "Quick Start" modes, Quick Start just resumes from where you left off in Carmageddon mode.
- If you get managed to earn about more than 20 minutes of spare time by killing zombies or ramming your opponents, the counter will get bugged and it will stop counting down.
- Although this game does save your progress, it does not tell you if it's actually saving the game or not.
- After the game was play-tested, instead of improving the controls they included "anti-frustration" measures, cheap tactics to give the player more advantages and make the game slightly more playable without actually fixing the gameplay of the game.
Reception
 "What were they thinking?"
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While the Windows version received positive reviews, the Nintendo 64 version received extremely negative reviews. IGN gave the game a 1.3/10, calling it "ridiculously poor software farted out as a quick, sloppy port" and "worse than Superman 64". It received 29%, according to review aggregator GameRankings.
Trivia
- The N64 and GBC ports, alongside a US version of the PlayStation port, were originally going to be published by Interplay Entertainment, but due to the company being brought out by Titus, the latter released them instead, and the PS1 version was released only in Europe.
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