Fifty Shades of Grey (novel)
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 An awful book that did have some shade dropped onto itself for how bad it is...
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Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It became the first instalment in the Fifty Shades novel series that follows the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism). Originally self-published as an E-Book and print-on-demand in June 2011, the publishing rights to the novel were acquired by Vintage Books in March 2012.
Plot
Anastasia "Ana" Steele is a 21-year-old college senior attending the Vancouver branch of Washington State University in Vancouver, Washington. Her best friend is Katherine "Kate" Kavanagh, who writes for the college newspaper. Due to an illness, Kate is unable to interview 27-year-old Christian Grey, a successful and wealthy Seattle entrepreneur, and asks Ana to take her place. Ana finds Christian attractive as well as intimidating. As a result, she stumbles through the interview and leaves Christian's office believing it went poorly. Ana does not expect to meet Christian again, but he appears at the hardware store where she works. While he purchases various items including cable ties, masking tape, and rope, Ana informs Christian that Kate would like some photographs to illustrate her article about him. Christian gives Ana his phone number. Later, Kate urges Ana to call Christian and arrange a photo shoot with their photographer friend, José Rodriguez.
The next day José, Kate, and Ana arrive for the photo shoot at the Heathman Hotel, where Christian is staying. Christian asks Ana out for coffee and asks if she is dating anyone, specifically José. Ana replies that she is not dating anyone. During the conversation, Ana learns that Christian is also single, but he says he is not romantic. Ana is intrigued, but believes she is not attractive enough for Christian. Later, Ana receives a package from Christian containing first edition copies of Tess of the d'Urbervilles, which stuns her. Later that night, Ana goes out drinking with her friends and ends up drunk dialing Christian, who informs her that he will be coming to pick her up because of her inebriated state. Ana goes outside to get some fresh air, and José attempts to kiss her, but he is stopped by Christian's arrival. Ana leaves with Christian, but not before she discovers that Kate has been flirting with Christian's brother, Elliot. Later, Ana wakes to find herself in Christian's hotel room, where he scolds her for not taking proper care of herself. Christian then reveals that he would like to have sex with her. He initially says that Ana will first have to fill in paperwork, but later goes back on this statement after making out with her in the elevator.
Ana goes on a date with Christian, on which he takes her in his helicopter, Charlie Tango, to his apartment. Once there, Christian insists that she sign a non-disclosure agreement forbidding her from discussing anything they do together, which Ana agrees to sign. He also mentions other paperwork, but first takes her to his playroom full of BDSM toys and gear. There, Christian informs her that the second contract will be one of dominance and submission, and there will be no romantic relationship, only a sexual one. The contract even forbids Ana from touching Christian or making eye contact with him. At this point, Christian realises that Ana is a virgin and takes her virginity without making her sign the contract. The following morning, Ana and Christian again have sex. His mother arrives moments after their sexual encounter and is surprised by the meeting, having previously thought Christian was homosexual, because he was never seen with a woman. Christian later takes Ana out to eat, and he reveals that he lost his virginity at age 15 to one of his mother's friends, Elena Lincoln, and that his previous dominant/submissive relationships failed due to incompatibility. Christian also reveals that in his first dominant/submissive relationship he was the submissive. Christian and Ana plan to meet again, and he takes Ana home, where she discovers several job offers and admits to Kate that she and Christian had sex.
Over the next few days, Ana receives several packages from Christian. These include a laptop to enable her to research the BDSM lifestyle in consideration of the contract; to communicate with him, since she has never previously owned a computer; and to receive a more detailed version of the dominant/submissive contract. She and Christian email each other, with Ana teasing him and refusing to honour parts of the contract, such as only eating foods from a specific list. Ana later meets with Christian to discuss the contract and becomes overwhelmed by the potential BDSM arrangement and the potential of having a sexual relationship with Christian that is not romantic in nature. Because of these feelings, Ana runs away from Christian and does not see him again until her college graduation, where he is a guest speaker. During this time, Ana agrees to sign the dominant/submissive contract. Ana and Christian once again meet to further discuss the contract, and they go over Ana's hard and soft limits. Christian spanks Ana for the first time, and the experience leaves her both enticed and slightly confused. This confusion is exacerbated by Christian's lavish gifts and the fact that he brings her to meet his family. The two continue with the arrangement without Ana's having yet signed the contract. After successfully landing a job with Seattle Independent Publishing (SIP), Ana further bristles under the restrictions of the non-disclosure agreement and her complex relationship with Christian. The tension between Ana and Christian eventually comes to a head after Ana asks Christian to punish her in order to show her how extreme a BDSM relationship with him could be. Christian fulfils Ana's request, beating her with a belt, and Ana realizes they are incompatible. Devastated, she breaks up with Christian and returns to the apartment she shares with Kate.
Why It's Fifty Shades of GARBAGE
- Objectively bad writing. The descriptions are a good example of what one shouldn't do when writing a novel.
- Anastasia is a Mary Sue. Just like Bella Swan from Twilight, she served as a wish fulfillment for the author. She's beautiful, but of course, she doesn't know who she is. Her only purpose is to be in a relationship with Christian, who is just a clone of Edward Cullen.
- The explanation to WIFSOG#2 is that Fifty Shades of Grey was originally based on a Twilight fanfiction named "Masters of the Universe". E.L. James simply filed off the serial numbers and published her "original" story.
- Christian is creepy. Any BDSM dom MUST care for the well-being of their sub at all times, which he doesn't. He's literally a rich sociopath who takes joy in hurting people.
- The portrayal of BDSM in this book is so incorrect, it can be fatal to those who try it.
- It got a cult-following it never deserved in the first place. It spawned a franchise of awful movies and MORE awful books.
- It conveys sexist and misogynistic ideas. Christian is pretty much the epitome of toxic masculinity, Anastasia has no spine and let's Christian abuse her, and this is never addressed in the book.
- It spawned a number of rip-offs such as After and 365 Dni.
The Only Redeeming Quality
- The ending of the book where Christian and Ana broke up was great.
Reception
The book has received mixed-to-negative reviews as most critics noted the poor literary qualities of the work. Salman Rushdie said about the book: "I've never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace." Maureen Dowd described the book in The New York Times as being written "like a Brontë devoid of talent," and said it was "dull and poorly written." Jesse Kornbluth of The Huffington Post said: "As a reading experience, Fifty Shades ... is a sad joke, puny of plot".