I Am Chair (Teen Titans Go!)

I Am Chair (Teen Titans Go!)
After this episode, you’ll likely want to sleep on a bed of nails or rocks.
Air Date: March 5, 2021 (Online) March 20, 2021 (TV) Writer: Jenny Jaffe Director: James Krenzke Previous episode: Villains in a Van Getting Gelato Next episode: Bumgorf

"I Am Chair" is the 48th episode of the sixth season of Teen Titans Go!

Plot

To restore himself after being pissed off by the other Titans in a fancy mall, Robin abuses a massage chair that slowly takes his life essence.

Why It Cannot Have One Good Hour

1. The episode's premise doesn't make any sense, and it feels more like it belongs to something from a rejected episode of Uncle Grandpa or Breadwinners or even an episode of modern Family Guy given its dark humor and disturbing imagery because has not to do with superheroes.
   • As well as the premise itself, the main idea of Massage Chairs that have a plot to exterminate all humanity by relaxing it is incredibly dumb and not-sensical. Even SpongeBob's ugly seasons had better plots than this.
2. The title could also be a reference to Groot’s native language in the Marvel Universe, as he always says “I am Groot”, If that were the case, it would be insulting to Marvel and its fans.
3. The beginning of the episode tastes bad because Robin suddenly is shown as an impatient guy who can't bear the crew's childish behavior. Yes, he hasn't all wrongs about Titans acting like toddlers and his frustration is understandable, however, he’s excessively angry.
   • This somehow forgets the events of the episode "Just a Little Patience...Yeah...Yeah", which depicts Robin as a superior and grown-up who can handle even the hardest events.
   • Hypocrisy: Robin seems to hate the Titans of their acting, even if the previous episodes showed him acting like them. However, can be a sort of character development.
4. On purpose, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire are much unlikable and hateful during the episode, where they act like 5 years old kids who are excited way too much about all the common things among them and act as if their first time in a shopping center.
   • Become even more unpleasant when they leave home, they take advantage of Robin relaxing on the chair to do their wishes and don't care about him.
   • But to be fair, this is the first episode where the Titans were at a mall. (Not counting Don’t Use Your Nostalgia As An Excuse)
5. There are a lot of filler scenes in this episode, such as Titans waiting for the traffic jam, Titans exploring the mall, Robin's dream, Titans' montage when they do all their things when Robin's not available, and the final scene. Without all these scenes, this episode may probably lasted less than 4 minutes.
6. When they try to search for the parking lot, Raven decides to evoke a giant dark magic hand which throws off one poor old lady and her car who just parked already and it's treated as a funny scene, which is very mean-spirited and unfunny because it's senior abuse, and she could potentially kill the grandma. Why is she still a superhero?
   • Plot Hole: Speaking of magic, why didn't Raven teleport all the squad to the mall, so they could avoid the jam?
   • Hypocrisy: Also, didn't Raven like senior people as was stated in Salty Codgers ?
7. When they finally enter the mall and the Titans start to act like toddlers, Robin decides to use a massage chair to pull off his anger and forget the other members, which depicts him as an irresponsible adult looking after his "kids".
8. During the massage chair scene, Robin starts to have a dream, and the sequence not only is useless, but it's also creepy as the other Titans make the same uncanny smile during the scene. In particular, there's this disturbing image of a made-up Starfire smiling in the middle of space in front of a lotus flower. What were they smoking when making this?
9. So, Robin someway appropriates the chair and brings it to the Tower, and for the rest of the episode, apart from when he's relaxed, starts to act like a mentally ill psychopath and a full schizophrenic, which is offensive to all people who have these disorders and disabilities.
10. When Robin gets suited by the chair, all the Titans start to go nuts and cheer. So, we got another useless montage of them celebrating their independence from Robin and trying to buy random things with Robin's credit card.
    • For some reason, they buy three monkeys, which is not a good thing, and ends up being a promotion of the Black Market.
11. After Cyborg disconnects the plug to fit the arcade cabinet one, mysteriously, the massage chair comes to life and it reveals that they’re evil robots with the intention of conquering the world by relaxing people. Then it goes with Robin on it to the mall and calls out all the other chairs to start its "mission".
12. After arriving at the mall, the other chairs start to manipulate the Titans after they enter it, without any final battle.
13. The entire scene where the chairs float in the air and kidnap people and animals is laughable.
14. The annoying TTG hater character returns in this episode, which might be another hater moment from the writers.
15. Awful and Disturbing Ending: The chairs successfully did their job and the Earth’s population is now skeletons as they have been long dead, to the point where the flesh COMPLETELY rotted away. They died due to severe starvation, severe dehydration, and sepsis due to sitting in their own waste. It’s questionable how this got passed the censors and this looks more like something that would be on Modern Family Guy.
    • Weirdly enough, Robin's hair is still there, while the rest were removed. Added to that, the clothes of the victims aside from the Titans, are gone.
16. Bad moral: Do not use massage chairs because they are evil robots.

The Only Redeeming Quality

1. Ignoring the Titans' behavior, the mall scene is very fun to look at.

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