Joshua and the Promised Land

Joshua and the Promised Land
"No... NOOOO!" — Moses
Genre: Animation Adventure Religion Directed by: Jim Lion Written by: Jim Lion Based on: The Book of Joshua Starring: Jonathan Dauerrman Harland Greene Kerry Orrman Nick Vetter Jim Lion Photography: Color Release date: December 23, 2003 Runtime: 55 minutes Country: United States

Joshua and the Promised Land is a 2004 low-budget CGI film about a young, anthropomorphic lion traveling back in time and living out the adventures of the biblical Joshua so he can learn a lesson about courage.

Plot

After the death of Moses, God calls on Joshua to lead the Israelites across the Jordan River and take possession of the promised land. God guarantees victory in the military campaign and vows never to leave the Israelites so long as they obey his laws.

Why It's a Disaster of Biblical Proportions

1. Atrocious CGI animation that falls well below the standards of 2004, with textures that are notably unattractive. It resembles a poorly animated video game more than a film.
   • The character models are terrible, resembling unfinished figures with unsettling facial expressions.
   • There is a notable amount of clipping present. For instance, when Joshua sits on his bed, there's noticeable clipping through his stomach.
   • Although the characters are depicted as lions, their absence of tails and paws is quite peculiar. Additionally, their manes seem lifeless; unlike the typically lush and wind-tossed manes of real lions, these manes resemble potatoes adorned with lion faces and ears.
2. The lip-syncing quality is subpar; the characters' mouths seem to open and close at random, failing to match the spoken dialogue accurately.
3. The soundtrack lacks distinction and attempts to evoke a biblical tone.
4. The dialogue is comically poor, especially Moses' line, "No... NOOOO!" However, this also serves as a redeeming feature because of its popularity as a meme and the humor derived from its absurdity and ridiculousness.
5. The voice acting is subpar and unintentionally humorous. It appears that the voice actors did not put in much effort, resulting in performances that are either grating or resemble random shouting.
6. The adaptation is highly disrespectful to the Book of Joshua, displaying minimal fidelity to the original material. This is evident through its inclusion of irritating characters, incorporation of utterly illogical events, and its condescending treatment of the intended audience.
   • Additionally, the film struggles to determine whether it aims to be an adaptation or a parody of the Book of Joshua. Often, it appears to lean more towards the latter.
7. Horrible editing that causes the scenes, transition shots, and characters' movements to not just look unnatural, but also even a bit creepy at times.
8. The narrator is depicted as a floating purple creature with features of both a cat and a pig. Its mouth hardly moves when it speaks, creating an eerie effect.
9. It took four years to complete this project. However, it is evident that other animators often require less time to produce quality animation.
10. The idea of an anthropomorphic lion on a journey to discover bravery is quite clichéd and lacks originality, as it has been previously explored in films like The Lion King.
11. The film poster is unsettling.

Redeeming Qualities

1. Moses: "No!... NOOOO!"
2. Chris, Joshua's guardian angel, actually gives a decent performance unlike the other vocal performances.
3. The animation quality is so poor that it occasionally becomes comical. For instance, the scene where Joshua chases the quails to catch dinner is particularly amusing.
4. Jim Lion, the film's creator, acknowledges its poor quality and concurs with the criticisms leveled against it. His acceptance of the feedback demonstrates his ability to handle criticism constructively. Despite the negative reception, he does not regret producing the film as it provided him with a chance to hone his animation skills, underscoring the idea that mistakes can lead to improvement.
5. Saberspark, in collaboration with numerous animators, has created a fan remake of this movie. The animation in the trailer is widely regarded as a significant improvement over the original.
6. In summary, the movie is so terrible that it becomes comical.

Reception

It currently has a score of 2.1/10 on IMDb.

Trivia

• The "No!... Noooo!" scene gained meme status.

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