Kitten Squad

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Kitten Squad
PETA's first PlayStation 4 game... Wait, what?!
Genre(s): Twin-stick shooter
Platform(s): PlayStation 4
iOS
Android
Steam
Nintendo Switch
Release Date: September 15, 2015
Developer(s): SAGENCY
Publisher(s): People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals


Kitten Squad is a 2015 twin-stick shooter game released for the PlayStation 4, Android devices, and later Steam in 2017 and the Nintendo Switch in 2018. It was developed by SAGENCY and published by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

Plot

Sadistic robots have enslaved orcas at SeaLand Marine Park. The evil Sheep Puncher robot has kidnapped sheep for the twisted wool industry. Only the Kitten Squad is up to the task of saving these gentle animals. Players must guide the Kitten Squad, armed with weaponry ranging from carrot rocket launchers to yarn ball guns, on missions to defeat the evil robots and free the animals in this action game brought to you by PETA.

Why It Should Be Sent to the Slaughterhouse as Well

  1. The game has the same disturbing content and PETA agenda found in their infamous browser games, such as Pokémon Black & Blue, even though the game is supposedly targeted towards children. For example, the game starts with a cutscene where two orcas are bleeding, and one commits suicide by bashing their head in. The game also has a crow that talks facts about animal abuse, such as a lamb's testicles getting removed. Though the game is rated Teen and carries a 12/M rating in Europe/Australia, the fact that most of these was just spoken in text sounds like they were trying to avoid a M/18 rating on purpose, and it shows.
  2. The gameplay is a more repetitive and boring version of The Binding of Isaac.
  3. Identical level layouts, with the exception of obstacles that block your bullets or act as traps.
  4. Bland and forgettable characters.
  5. Poorly animated enemies.
  6. The game has microtransactions, but only for purchasing costumes.
  7. Overly flawed weapon design. You will find yourself sticking to one or two weapons in the game and trying to avoid others due to the obvious superiority of some. Some weapons (I.E. the yarn and carrot guns) cannot be fired when being too close to a wall. Firing along the walls' side will result in hitting the wall, stopping your projectiles from being able to hit enemies.
  8. The game only runs at 720p on the PlayStation 4, despite the game being a completely 2D game. The PS4 is known for being able to render lots of 3D games at 1080p!
  9. No online multiplayer option, even though the Steam version of the game advertised such a feature.
  10. The game got a Nintendo Switch port, and mind you, PETA was infamous for attacking Nintendo in the past before this port came out. Double standards much?
  11. False advertising: The official thumbnail looks like the game would be in 3D and it would be multiplayer, but the game is like The Binding of Isaac in-game.
  12. Even though SeaWorld has said that they would end their orca shows and breeding program and are planning to build an orca-free park in the United Arab Emirates, PETA still insists on attacking them by use of an in-universe parody called "SeaLand".
  13. Unfair difficulty spike. As soon as you go into a room there's sometimes a barrage of enemies that just immediately bum rush you without a moment's notice. Worst of all, there's no checkpoints, meaning if you die you get sent all the way back to the beginning.
  14. There is no completion reward once you've beaten the game. All that happens is the deer congratulates you on rescuing all the animals and that's it.

Redeeming Qualities

  1. At least it's free to play.
  2. Decent graphics.
  3. Lots of customization options for your character, even having the option to change your character into different animal species.
  4. If PETA hadn't gotten involved in the game's creation and crammed a lot of what made their games so bad into it, it could've actually been decent.
  5. It has multiplayer on the Switch.
  6. Sometimes, the game gets addicting.
  7. Some of the robot enemies have good designs.