SWAT Siege
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 What if Rainbow Six Siege was released by Phoenix Games instead of Ubisoft, and was like a cheap game that looked like a bad arcade game instead of a Triple-A tactical shooter? Then you'll get this.
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SWAT Siege is a third-person shooter video game developed by the NAPS team and published by Phoenix Games for the PlayStation 2 in 2006 only in Europe.
Gameplay
The gameplay consists of the player controlling a SWAT officer by moving the character left or right while shooting at enemies at the same time until a green bar that indicates how close you are to beating the level is emptied. Alongside with that, the player will also receive pick-up items, which give either bonus points, or a stronger weapon like a Submachine Gun.
Why It Deserves to Be Swatted
- The game is largely a total blast from the past, guaranteeing low quality for games released in the period when PlayStation 2 began to die out, being replaced by PlayStation 3. Overall it looks, sounds, and plays like a 1990s remastered arcade game.
- The game has only 15 levels that can be completed in half an hour in total.
- Both you and your opponents die with one shot, regardless of the type of weapon. The former makes it one of those games where you die in one hit very quickly, and the latter makes the game incredibly trivial at times.
- You only have four lives (3 to 0), and if you lose all lives, you start the game all over again. Regardless of whether you are stuck in the third or twelfth level, such an outdated mechanic is introduced. It is worth recalling that this is a game from 2006, not a 1980s game for hardcore players from the 1970s-1980s. Even an old game like Super Mario Bros. 3, a 1988 game, is merciful in that it has a stage save system where you can safely return to the level you were stuck in recently.
- There is no variety in the gameplay aspect here, where you shoot at stupid opponents all the time in a monstrous amount. There aren't even any bosses, at least one of the previously seen enemies, only with more health and an arsenal of weapons, which could add variety to some extent, but the NAPS team did so to resurrect an extremely old game in the form of a 3D title on PlayStation 2. Inspiration was visible after the game Space Raiders, a pseudo-remake of a cult classic 1978 arcade game.
- The crosshair was also made for a typical old arcade game or a freeware shooter for personal computers, like Chicken Shoot. In the crosshair, instead of standing in the center of the screen as is the case in first/third-person shooters, you have to manipulate the crosshair with the help of the controller, on which side you want to redirect the crosshair.
- The gameplay is ridiculous and mind-numbing. Instead of being a SWAT officer who goes with his team and takes on dangerous situations like bomb defusing or hostage rescuing, you simply move left and right while shooting recklessly at random enemies that appear everywhere, which is unrealistic and laughable. NAPS team's Shoot had a similar situation, suggesting its cover, resembled a Duke Nukem 3D clone, but turned out to be a 1990s-like generic shooter on arcade machines.
- Horrendously bad graphics that you can vomit through due to overall hopeless graphic design. Some textures qualitatively recall a squashed insect dipped in nearby sewage, the number of polygons that can be counted on fingers with one hand, and special effects that look quite comical, making the special effects from Nintendo 64 games the effects from high-budget films. In general, it is banging on the eyes with cruel poverty, as if the game were to be released on PlayStation, instead of its successor.
- The animations are a real show of laziness and generally awfulness, which make you throw the TV off a balcony from a high-rise building. First, there is a hilariously bad walking animation, which is more like running to the nearest toilet. Other times, there are animations of ammunition fired, which are pitifully slow and as fast as a dumpling dipped in liquid falling to the bottom of the bowl. However, the biggest displays of embarrassment are animations of exploding dynamites and slowed-down animations when the playable character dies.
- There's no logic whatsoever, as long as it ever existed in the games of the famous Dutch-British sick heads from Phoenix Games. The enemies show what the real terrorists from the alternative world of Phoenix Games are, by having a launcher that fires dynamites when in reality there's no such weapon. Speaking of dynamites, their explosion is so pathetic that no objects closest to the dynamites explode, only the playable character may suffer somehow after the explosion.
- The PEGI 7 rating is completely wrong, as the gameplay makes it feel more like a 16+ game as while it has you shooting at human enemies, there is no bloodshed at all. Keep in mind that this was back in the 2000s, where PEGI was a lot more lenient where many games that got Teen ratings and USK 12 ratings ended up getting 7 ratings. A big example of this was when Alien Shooter 2 (under the name Vengeance) got a 12 rating back in 2007 for violence/language when it also had a Mature rating for bloody horror violence, which nowadays, would instead get a 18 rating alongside a MA15+ rating in Australia.
- Extremely annoying sound effects that make you want to cut off your ears personally. It consists of one enemy death scream sound effect that sounds like it was recorded as a clip for a porn movie, another time there is a main character death sound effect that sounds artificial and more reminiscent of the sound of a drunk man drinking too much beer and vodka at the same time. The shooting noises go beyond the level of developer laziness, adding a sound reminiscent of percussion caps or a toy equivalent that possibly is additionally bitten by a dog from under a trepanation of the skull.
- God-awful soundtrack in general. Not only is there only one track throughout the game, which only plays during the gameplay, but it also sounds like a terrible cacophony. It's supposed to be techno music, but it sounds more like a contest for doing loud "dun dun dun", with a piece of additional music. Apart from an almost non-existent level of composer art, it's not suitable for this type of game at all.
- Collision is a total failure, which is causing fake difficulty. The problem is that even if the bullet's momentum is close to you, you die instantly. Here it does not depend on whether the bullet is fired at a given part of the body, but also depends on the bullet's momentum that will even barely pass the playable character.
- In terms of weapons, you get two pistols from the start that can kill enemies with one shot, making the rest of the weapons you receive pointless, as even this basic weapon does an enormous amount of damage, and the rest of the weapons do the same, the only differences are different sound effects of the weapons, and the bullet firing speed.
- Collecting points don't matter. Rank points are here just to show off to your friends how you had to spend hours playing this pathetic game.
- After completing the game, you will get absolutely nothing, not even a screen where you have a congratulatory message. All you will see is how many points you have earned and what place you ranked. Also, the same scoreboard screen pops up even if you lose, making it unimportant to complete fifteen levels and it looks like it's a sheer waste of time.
Videos
NRGeek's review
Various videos
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Categories:
- 2000s games
- Third-person shooter games
- PlayStation 2 games
- Budget games
- Shovelware games
- Zagrajmy w crapa episodes
- Games made in Italy
- Games with a male protagonist
- One-hit-kill games
- Phoenix games
- Teen games
- Europe-only games
- Bad media
- Bad games
- Games with incorrect age ratings
- Games reviewed by Joueur du Grenier