Shark Exorcist
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 Not even Satan would touch this filth.
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Shark Exorcist is a horror shark film directed by Donald Farmer and was released in August 14, 2015, it is the first installment in the Shark Exorcist series.
Plot
A demonic nun unleashes holy hell when she summons the devil to possess a great white shark.
Why This Movie Should Go To Hell
- First thing's first: the concept of an evil spirit possessing a shark is a really lame idea to begin with. It's not like it can't work, but out of all the living things it can possess, why a random shark that was randomly swimming and minding its own business?
- It's another one of those shark films that bandwagon the genre since Steven Spielberg's Jaws.
- The movie has absolutely no script, no development, no direction, no goal, no structure, and lastly, no story.
- Since the movie has no story nor continuity, it doesn't know what it wants to be, an exorcism, a zombie apocalypse, or murder mystery, very much hinting that this film was rushed.
- It wastes the idea and premise of a satanic shark.
- Despite the movie being about satanic sharks, there is not even that much shark action.
- It doesn't explain why a nun took a corpse to the lake, then have the spirit of Satan to possess a shark.
- It's padded with meaningless scenes and filler that don't contribute to the story at all. You could take those scenes out and nothing would change. It's limited, but not limited to:
- A woman goes to the lake to tan, then a man takes pictures of her in secret while she was sleeping, and lastly, he leaves and was never seen again.
- Two girls go to a graveyard and zombies have risen from the dead, which had nothing to do with exorcism or sharks.
- The possessed woman approaches to a mentally handicapped woman in a playground. The handicapped woman brings her to a pool, and when she decides to swim along with the possessed woman, it was revealed to be a dream.
- An unnamed man runs around for 5 minutes, sees a dead woman on a lake, vomits, and then decides to have sex with that corpse.
- The priest finding out that his twin brother was killed.
- Three girls going to a lake to do one of those challenges.
- Very buzzer and unlikable characters, with specie mention in particular going to the mentally handicapped woman who, despite looking to be around her 20s to 30s, is in a playground playing around with toy sharks acting like a child.
- The film can't decide on who the main protagonists are, since it keeps reintroducing new ones scene after scene, and are left underdeveloped and irrelevant.
- Speaking of underdeveloped main characters, they come across as unlikable and moronic.
- Laughtable as hell writing choices, such as the infamiouse scene were the mentally handicapped woman approach the slide and... stands and walks on the slide like a platform.
- Shoddy camera work and direction:
- You can actually hear the cameraman breathing.
- The host of the ghost show looks behind the cameraman, and speaks to the audience.
- Atrocious acting and awful dialog, such as: "Damn it! The power of Christ commands you!" and "I like to get wet."
- There is an unfunny necrophiliac joke when a man sees a female corpse on the beach, he throws up and say: She's still hot, I'd still do her.
- Terrible special effects that looks like they were created in a student's school project, this is a 2015 film by the way.
- While the poster looks cool, it does not show up in the film.
- The victim's shark bite on the leg is just what presumably ketchup, and not makeup looking like a wound.
- Pointless after-credit scene that means nothing and it goes on for 7 minutes.
- You can notice that the priest character is obviously dubbed, and the mouth syncing just looks wrong.
- The film itself, which is suppose to be a horror film, is not even that scary or violent.
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