National Lampoon's Pledge This!
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 "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, Indivisible, with liberty and justice for unfunny toilet humor."
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National Lampoon's Pledge This! is a 2006 American comedy film starring Paris Hilton, who also served as an executive producer. The film was released straight-to-video.
Plot
At the popular South Beach University (Miami), filthy rich super-snob Victoria English is the absolute queen of leading Greek student club, Sigma Sigma. In order to achieve her crowning ambition, winning FHM Magazine's annual best sorority, she must recruit atypical "Sigmies" to fulfill the diversity criteria. Ambitious sycophant pledge Kristen Haas helps her attract "losers" (too poor, ugly, unfashionable), who are cruelly put through excruciating hazing, without intent to actually enroll them. Gloria, the brightest and most assertive pledge, wins the heart of Derek "Baby Dick", Victoria's ideal, yet constantly abused boyfriend, whose bitch-addiction is cured by this alternative lover. Together, they lead the revolt of the not-even-nerds.
Why We Shouldnât Pledge Allegiance to This Film
- Basically, the entire movie is just boring, unfunny, and nothing exciting happens in it. It's just a normal girl's life, only with extra toilet humor.
- The entire movie is obviously fake as it's easy to spot what isn't real in the movie. For example, the character designs for some of the girls don't even look like they're females at all. They look more like males pretending to be females, with the geisha character being the most obvious example, and the animals on the grave easily look like toy animals you can buy from the store.
- Speaking of the geisha, the actor for some strange reason wears white gloves, despite that real geishas don't color their body.
- The humor is mostly offensive, insulting, and forced, mainly consisting of incredibly stupid jokes and toilet humor, especially the scene where a toilet scene is shown exploding and all the liquid poop squirts out.
- The musical numbers in the movie like "I GOT YOU BABE!" are just plain generic, bland, and boring at the same time.
- The movie also has way too much filler in it, like the scene where the boys were at camp and doing nothing but talking.
- Victoria English is one of the most unlikable characters from the movie. She basically brags about her beauty and how much people love her even if it's risking their lives.
- The acting is mediocre at best. Some of the actors even look like they'd rather be doing something else.
- The movie is also offensive to some girls and women as the movie contained a lot of moments that may count as insulting to them.
- Terrible special effects, with one example being this scene.
- Vile and feral scenes within the film:
- The infamous scene where Christabel puts whipped cream on her boyfriend's groin and puts her dog under the sheets giving him a blowjob!
- The scene where a teacher gets dripped on by semen.
The Only Redeeming Quality
- While some edits in the movie are disturbing, they're actually cool at times.
Reception
National Lampoon's Pledge This! has a 0% "rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes based on 6 reviews, with an average score of 2.06 out of 10.