Taz Express

Taz Express
Taz will want to destroy his crate after he see this game.
Genre(s): Platformer Platform(s): Nintendo 64 Release: August 1, 2000 Developer(s): Zed Two Publisher(s): Infogrames Successor: Taz Wanted (by release date)

Taz Express is a video game for the Nintendo 64, that was released in Europe and Australia in 2000.

Plot

Taz? A Delivery Boy? Would you trust THIS guy to deliver your fragile package?

Tired of seeing Taz do nothing but hang around the house and watch TV, She-Devil decides Taz needs to find a job. She finds the perfect one for him - as a delivery boy for the next day courier service, "Taz Express". Your job: Help protect the package long enough to deliver it!

Why It's Not Express

1. The plot is poor and uninspired. She-Devil was tired of seeing Taz do nothing and only watch TV, and she has found a job for Taz, which would be a delivery boy, but the problem is that it's just an excuse to make Taz go on an adventure.
2. Despite the music being catchy for the most part, it can sound depressing, which is just not fitting the game. Even Taz-Mania on the Sega Genesis, while it had a terrible soundtrack, fit the game for the most parts, and that was on a 16-bit console.
3. The controls are absolutely frustrating to use and are terrible, even for a Nintendo 64 game, and what's worse is that Duck Dodgers, another Looney Tunes game made by Infogrames, has better controls and was also made by the same developer, making this much worse.
   • The jump is also terrible because it's way too short for platforming, and the worst part about it is that you need to use it often, making the platforming much worse.
   • They are also clunky and unresponsive, especially the aforementioned terrible jump that is extremely stiff, and the spin is even worse than the main controls (see WINE #4).
4. The spin attack is horrible in this game, as you have to run fast to use it, but the problem is that sometimes there are tight places that make this a massive chore to destroy the wall you need to. This is so bad that it's already ruining the game since it's necessary to use it in most, if not all, the levels.
   • The spin is also very clunky to use since it's really unresponsive, slippery, and awkward to use at the same time.
5. The crates are basically your lives, so if you accidentally break those, you will lose a life, which can become quickly annoying, as there are levels where it is barely possible to not lose a life.
   • Not to mention that the game is already hard because of the terrible controls.
   • Also it's not helped by the fact that most enemies try to break them, so if you're not careful enough, you might lose them very easily.
   • If Taz spins on them, then you break it, making this a massive chore than it's supposed to be.
   • This is much worse in the level where Taz is very small compared to the cars, and the cars can hit Taz very easily, and at worst, they can even hit Taz and his crate box, making you lose a ton of lives.
6. The graphics are really ugly for a 2000 Nintendo 64 game, with blurry and bloky textures that make the game look like it came in 1997 instead of three years later. Games like Doraemon 3: Nobita no Machi SOS!, Super Mario 64 , Duck Dodgers Starring Daffy Duck, Pac-Man World and the 2000 Spider-Man video game. look better, and most of them were released before this game.
   • The character models are also blocky, especially Taz himself.
   • What's worse is that the color palette is also very dull and poor, as it's not that colorful and makes the already blocky texture look even worse.
7. The endings are pretty terrible and are very short; also, they just contradict the plot of the game since it's about Taz being a delivery boy, but the crate that he delivered was actually the present for him, making the plot very pointless.
8. The ending prior to the 5th one is just getting to the bonus stages to get another ending, which makes this game even more confusing.
9. The game is quite short for the time of its release, as it takes only 2 hours to beat it, much like Duck Dodgers Starring Daffy Duck. (albeit a decent game).
10. To complete the game at 100%, you need to beat the game at least five times, which is just tedious and is a dirty trick for making the game longer. This would also be a problem for other games such as the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game on consoles.
11. It's a sought-after game for players of other countries; however, a special playthrough adapter is needed to play PAL games on other systems, and this game also has a special lockout screen, so even if an adapter is used, it still isn't able to be played, so items like the EMS N64 Passport still won't work, even with the PAL boot codes, making this game extremely hard to play on real hardware.
12. The level design is very awful at best and atrocious at worst. These levels are absolutely frustrating to play and sometimes even abysmal. This includes, but is not limited to:
    • Stage 1-1: It's not so bad, but the problem is that this level is so small that you might actually speedrun this level very easily.
    • Stage 1-2 is, however, much worse than Stage 1-1, as there are enemies everywhere that are trying to make you fall off a platform or, much worse, they try to break your crate. This level can be extremely annoying to 100% since it's collectible and has some absolutely abysmal placements that will make you have a hard time getting them.
    • Stage 2-1 is one of the worst levels of the entire game since it's got abysmal Al for the cars and they can hit you too commonly, and you can easily lose a crate in this abysmal level.
    • Stage 2-2 is very frustrating since you have to beat a boss and jump on it, but the problem is that it's too hard to do so and you have to get the timing to catch it. However, the level can be short if you can catch it easily.
    • Stage 2-3 is where the real nightmare starts; it's full of enemies that can break your cage (even more so than stage 2-1), and this stage is quite long, but for all the wrong reasons.
13. Dreadful enemy placements: sometimes you might get hit because of that, and they can break your crate very easily. It's so bad that this thing alone can ruin the game.
14. Until Longplay Archive did a video on it, the game has no complete walkthrough on the internet, so you can get trouble beating this game.
15. Horrible bonus stages at the end of the game, with a limited timer that makes them a massive chore to beat; even worse, you have only 1 minute most of the time to complete them.
16. The warp zones are very difficult to reach because of the platforming, and sometimes you need to be very fast, so good luck if you want to go there.
17. The mini games in the warp zones are terrible because you need to go in the door with a limited timer, so if you fail, you have to restart.
18. Speaking of the endings, all of the different ones are pretty much the same, with only the Taz costume changing, which was done to make the game longer, but the problem is that it doesn't work and it makes the game look like a bad job.

Redeeming Qualities

1. There are some levels that are fun to play.
2. Despite what was mentioned in WINE#2, the soundtrack is still catchy or relaxing to listen to, especially the Skating theme, Wild, Wild Taz, Taz on Mars, and the title screen theme.
3. The game had a good concept, but it was unfortunately poorly executed.
4. The graphics are a bit better on the emulator than on real hardware.

Reception

The reception for this game is a bit special, some say it's a good game and give it positive reviews, but some other reviewer give this game some extremely negative reviews such as N64 Magazine which give it a 27% or Console + which gave it a 5%.

Trivia

• This game was originally made as a prototype for an unreleased game called Vampire Circus. The prototype played as a gauntlet-style game full of vampires and zombies.
• An US version of the game was completed and was planned, but was cancelled for unknown reasons.
• There are a early box art of the game leaked with Bugs Bunny Lost in Time and the prototype box art of Looney Tunes Space Race which got release on Dreamcast instead.

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